Neither Oxford nor Merriam can give you the exact emotion of how people feel. There arent words that can explain the whirling pool of fear, hatred and anxiety that one is experiencing. Nobody can exactly understand what you are trying to say unless that somebody had stepped on the exact same ground as you’ve been. No matter how long or how specific you elaborate it, people, just people cannot see where you’ve come from and where are you going to. 

You can tell them you are hurting, they will know that you are on that state, but they will never realize how deep the pain is, they will never understand where the profuse bleeding is coming from. 

Sometimes they need to inflict themselves with physical harm let alone the bruises or the dripping blood cover their untouched skin now scared, for what? Not let you know they are wounded, but to make them feel that their pulse is still working and they are still living. They wanted to witness blood dripping from their risk to make them realize that the pain is real and try their very best to live with it and be immune.

“You will never understand what Im trying to say, unless you’ve been there”